Written by Tina
What is it like to be born a girl with cerebral palsy in a culture that prizes boys over girls, where disability is considered a disgrace and where there is little or no hope for the future? I’d like to share Lucy’s story.
I first met Lucy in the fall of 2017 during my second short term service trip (STST) to China. She has spastic cerebral palsy which affects her legs, ankles, feet, wrists, and fingers. She speaks haltingly and gets around with difficulty on a walker. Her feet twist outwardly and drag at times despite wearing ankle foot orthotics that are obviously not doing their job. She is attractive, smart and curious. Lucy wanted to know more about me and tell me about herself, but because she only speaks Mandarin and I only English, we learned only a few things about one another the first time we met. Despite the language barrier, Lucy drew and gave me a beautiful drawing when I visited again last year. To her, I was a queen wearing a crown. She said her goal was to write me a letter in English within two years. This June, she shared her sad yet ultimately victorious story to the STST.
Lucy was firstborn to parents who really REALLY wanted a son. Sons have always been prized in China not only because they’ll carry on the family’s surname but because it has been ingrained for generations upon generations girls will belong to their husbands’ families once they get married. Some parents still feel it is not important to educate their daughters because their earnings will belong to their husband’s family. Having a daughter with disabilities was a great disgrace and disappointment to Lucy’s parents. They hid her as best they could but did not hide their feelings toward her. Two sisters followed, and when the one son finally arrived, she was warned by her parents, “You’d better not be a stumbling block to your brother” and allowed him to mistreat her. The family of 6 was financially strapped and she was an unwanted burden. At age 5, Lucy tried to kill herself by ingesting ant poison. Who would try to kill herself at age 5? Someone who felt unwanted, unloved and hopeless. At age 10, Lucy wanted to receive an education. She considered killing herself if she couldn’t go to school.
Before Lucy was sent to an Angel House for youth with disabilities, her great grandmother died. She met four pastors. At the youth center, one of the staffs shared the Gospel with her and asked if she wanted to accept Jesus as her personal Savior. She did. Lucy attended a church for a period of time and then stopped going. She took comfort knowing God loves her unconditionally but deep inside she felt unloved and rejected by her family and society. At times the inner pain was so unbearable she would bang her head against a wall or pinch herself over and over again to release the pain. When a new Angel House opened in a nearby city, Lucy was transferred along with three other young teens. She joined Rainbow Missions sponsorship program and has been financially supported since then. She started to listen to Bible teachings on the radio, and when Rainbow Missions STST members came she was strengthened by God’s Word and touched by members’ kindness and prayers. Pastor Rain encouraged her to pray whenever she felt like hurting herself and told her when she hurts herself, God hurts because she is His precious, beloved daughter. Lucy trusted Jesus to carry her through the bad times as well as the good and recommitted herself to Him in April. She said she wanted to be baptized when the STST returned in June. Her heartwarming baptism took place Monday, June 24, 2019 in the presence of close friends, Angel House staff, and Rainbow Missions STST members. Lucy shared her testimony but wasn’t able to finish it completely because of tears that streamed uncontrollably.
When she was baptized by Pastor Rain to demonstrate her new life in Christ, she regained composure and smiled with happiness. Her first Holy Communion followed. There was great celebration afterwards. Please remember Lucy in your prayers. Please pray for a Christian mentor to help her grow in faith and be a comfort and support when hardships and intense emotions return, and ask The Lord to change her family’s hearts toward her and also find Jesus.
作為一個患有腦癱的女孩，卻出生在一種重男輕女，並把殘障視為恥辱的文化中，對未來幾乎沒有—-甚至毫無盼望的感覺是怎樣的? 我想分享露西的故事。
我第一次見到露西是在2017年的秋天, 那是我第二次到中國的短期服務 (STST) 之旅。 她有痙攣性腦癱, 影響著她的腿 、腳踝、腳、手腕和手指。 她說話並不流利, 用助行器艱難地四處走動。 露西的腳向外扭曲, 有時拖著行走, 儘管穿著腳踝矯形器, 卻顯然沒有多大的進展。 其實露西她很可愛, 聰明又好奇。她想更多地瞭解我, 告訴我關於她自己的事情, 但是因為她只會說普通話, 而我只會英語, 我們第一次見面時只學到了幾件關於彼此的事情。 儘管語言障礙, 當去年我再次訪問時，露西給我畫了一幅美麗的圖畫。 對她來說, 我是一個戴著皇冠的女王。 她說她盼望在兩年內給我寫一封英文信。 今年6月, 她向STST分享了她悲哀但最終得勝的故事。
露西是父母的第一個孩子, 但他們很想很想要的卻是一個兒子。 兒子在中國一直很受重視, 不僅因為他們會繼承這個家族的姓氏 , 還因為一代又一代的女孩，一旦結婚就屬於丈夫的家庭。 有些父母仍然認為讓女兒接受教育並不重要, 因為他們的收入將屬於丈夫的家庭。 有一個殘障的女兒是露西父母的一大恥辱和失望。 他們盡可能把她藏了起來, 但毫不掩飾的是他們對她的厭棄與不接納。 兩個妹妹先後出生, 最後終於等到一個兒子時, 她的父母警告她說：「你最好不要成為你弟弟的絆腳石」, 並讓他任意欺負她。 一家6口的經濟本來就十分拮据, 她一直就是家庭中不想要的負擔。 5歲時, 露西就試圖透過吞食螞蟻毒藥自殺。除非是感到極度的不受歡迎、不被愛和完全的絕望，有誰會在5歲時自殺? 當露西10歲時, 她逼切的想要到學校去接受教育。 她甚至考慮，如果不能上學她就自殺！
在12歲的露西被送到一個殘障青年訓練中心之前, 她的曾祖母去世了。 當時她遇見了四位牧師，在對談中她第一次聽到福音。 然後在青年中心, 一名工作人員又再與她分享福音,並問她是否願意接受耶穌作為她的個人救主。 她做了決志禱告，也有一段時間參加了教堂的聚會, 然後她又不去了。 其實露西知道上帝無條件地愛她, 也因而得著安慰，但內心深處的掙扎，與長久不被家人和社會所愛和接納所造成的創傷，一直都讓她感到難以忍受, 有時候在深沉的夜裡，輾轉難眠的她會把頭撞在牆上, 或者一遍又一遍地捏痛自己來釋放內心的痛楚 ……
當一個新的康復中心在附近的城市開業時, 露西和其他幾個十幾歲的孩子被轉介到了那裡。 她開始加入彩虹工程的助學計劃，藉著這些資助接受康復訓練，她也在收音機裡聽聖經的教導。 當彩虹服務隊的成員到來探望她的時候, 她被神的話語所鼓勵, 被他們的愛心和為她所作的禱告所感動。 陳牧師鼓勵她為上帝在她生命中的特别的計劃禱告, 並且叮嚀她說：「每當妳想傷害自己時, 妳一定要禱告, 求上帝安慰妳, 加添妳的力量。並且妳一定要記得，上帝的心會為著妳傷害自己而傷痛，因為她是祂親愛的寶貝女兒。」 露西相信耶穌會帶領她度過生命的高山低谷。在今年四月，她再次向耶穌承諾， 她說：「我決定在6月 STST再來時接受洗禮。」
露西溫馨而充滿愛意與盼望的洗禮在2019年6月24日(星期一) 如期舉行 ，在親愛的朋友, AH的工作人員和彩虹工程STST成員的祝福中顕得單純又隆重。 露西坦誠分享了她的見證, 但卻沒法完成, 因為當她說到了一半，眼淚就無法控制地流淌下來……有十分鐘之久，她不斷地哭泣，彷佛要把她自懂事以來所歷的痛苦，一哭而盡！
當露西接受陳牧師的洗禮, 以展示她在基督裡的新生命時, 她恢復了平靜, 幸福地笑了。 她的第一個聖餐隨之而來， 然後便是大家為她精心預備的慶祝活動。 請不忘在您的禱告中記念露西。 請祈求一位基督徒的導師幫助她在信仰中繼續成長, 並在強烈的負面情緒不時侵襲時，讓她得到及時的安慰和支援, 更求主改變她家人對她的心, 讓他們也遇到耶穌，同得福音的好處。