When we are grieving and suffering, the most difficult part, perhaps, is the loss of hope. Physical and mental pain — even prolonged hardship — can be endured, but if we lose hope, life would become an endless curse. For the past six years, I have followed Rainbow Missions service teams to China and have come into contact with many students, families, and local volunteers who have become dear friends in my heart.
Looking back upon my experiences over the past years, the most precious thing service teams have brought has not been training nor the transfer of expertise — but hope in life. Last year when the summer was so hot, the service team went to a city in SW China just over a couple hours’ drive from the border of North Vietnam to visit Angel House’s CZ campus — an orphanage and rehab center which has been supported by Rainbow Missions since they started their work there. The facility offers children and orphans with cerebral palsy rehabilitative services and classroom training. During our stay, our retired occupational therapist provided training for their physical therapists and staff to support their work with the disabled children. Our service team also did home visits to care for and encourage parents of children with cerebral palsy.
We met 8-year-old Chunyu and her family during one of these home visits. Little Chunyu was about six months old when she experienced a prolonged high fever which led to frequent and severe epileptic seizures that affected brain development, resulting in intellectual and physical limitations. During our visit, Chunyu’s eyes were sluggish with almost no expression nor reactions to the outside world. She would cry whenever she was not feeling well. She could not speak, and her hands and feet did not move. We learned it was due to frequent seizures. Because of the family’s desperate financial situation, they had missed the best time for her to receive medical attention. Through the assistance of Rainbow Missions, her parents were finally able to take Chunyu to the provincial capital to see a specialist at the hospital. Her seizures became better controlled, and Chunyu was able to start and benefit from daily rehabilitative services at the CZ campus.
Before this visitation, our service team had already been in the city a few days. The sun had always been hanging high and the temperature usually reached 95 degrees (Fahrenheit) in the afternoon. A thunderstorm suddenly pelted heavy rain as we headed to visit Chanyu and her parents. We smiled and said we encountered heavy rain because we went to visit Chunyu (her name sounds like “rain” in Chinese). The van was parked not far from their house but we didn’t have umbrellas and the rain soon flooded the road with a few inches of water. Right at that moment, Chunyu’s mother came out with an umbrella and greeted us. She then picked a few bricks up from the roadside and placed them across the road for us to use as stepping stones.
When we walked into their house, the family’s challenging financial situation was evident. Chunyu has an older sister who studies at a junior high school and a younger sister in kindergarten. To enable Chunyu to receive rehab daily, their family moved from their remote rural home to CZ and rented two small rooms for two hundred yuan (approximately $28 US dollars) a month. Their family of five crowds together in a tiny house about two hundred square feet with a shabby little kitchen and bathroom. In the middle of the room a large nylon tarp hangs beneath the roof to protect them from the rain. Our team members barely squeezed inside the room; we sat on little wooden stools while chatting with them. Fortunately, the rain cooled the sultry temperature a bit. The house is just too old. In winter it is especially cold and in summer extremely hot. The bed was about three feet wide and just above it a small spinning hoisted fan was hanging from the low ceiling blowing a little cool air. Each of us felt it was totally unsafe.
Chunyu’s father is a local construction worker and his income is limited and inconsistent. On rainy days there is no work and no income. Chunyu’s mother needs to stay home to take care of Chunyu and therefore cannot work to contribute financially. Chunyu’s father’s own dad died when he was very young and his mother made him stay with a relative who did not welcome the child. Their relationship was strained and he was lonely and quiet. Traditionally and overall, Chinese value boys over girls, particularly in rural villages. Because Chunyu’s parents had three girls, one of whom is weak and disabled, their relatives and friends were unsupportive and even despised them. Not only did they fail to help, they tried to persuade the parents to abandon Chunyu. Her parents struggled with the decision and were reluctant to take their advice. At the end they decided to maintain the responsibility of raising Chunyu along with her sisters. During our conversation, I could feel the deep-seated, hidden pain inside the heart of Chunyu’s father. He carries feelings of guilt for delaying medical attention resulting in Chunyu’s poor health. The sadness in his eyes revealed his helplessness, pain, despair and worries about her long recovery journey and future.
Before leaving the CZ, our service team coordinated an outdoor activity at a park with the orphanage and rehab center, allowing moms and dads to temporarily put aside their burdens and worries to enjoy an outing with their children. During the event, our group of children with cerebral palsy and their parents sang and played games in the shade of its picnic area. Laughter filled the air. The weather and environment were not as pleasant as we had hoped. Can you imagine having all kinds of activities under hot (90+ degrees), humid and sultry weather? We were sweating non-stop and pesky, annoying mosquitoes were everywhere biting us. Yet, it was absolutely rewarding and encouraging to see the face of a certain father whose shoulders carry a heavy burden brighten up and smile. It was like a light in the dark and a ray of hope in helplessness.
I’ve participated in six Rainbow Missions short term service trips. Over the past six years, I watched my daughter finish high school and become a college graduate and my son advance from junior high school into college. Over that same period of time, I’ve seen the RM-supported autism center start from scratch to one bursting at the seams. I’ve seen a mother who planned to jump off a light rail with her disabled daughter turn her life around. I’ve witnessed a couple with an autistic son re-establish their broken marriage and I’ve seen one blind student after another receive a college education and transform from receiving help to helping others. I’ve seen God’s love and miracles manifested among those in need and observed how these brought hope into their lives. Despair to hope. It seems an impossible distance. Rainbow Missions became the bridge enabling people in distress to move from the darkness of despair to the light of hope.
面對悲傷和苦難，最難受的是沒有了盼望；肉身和精神上的痛苦，再艱難的，都還可以忍受，但是若果失去盼望，生命便變成了無盡的咒詛。過去六年以來，我每年都跟隨彩虹工程服務隊到中國去，接觸了不少的學生和家庭，那些服務對象和當地的同工義工，都成了心裡惦掛著的朋友。回顧這些年來的經驗，服務隊帶給他們最大的，不是培訓和專業知識的傳授，而是與他們同行，讓他們重拾生命中的盼望。
去年炎夏正濃的時分，服務隊來到了中國西南、離邊境只有個多小時車程的左市，探訪彩虹工程一直支持的安琪之家兒童福利院。福利院照顧一班患有腦癱的兒童，為他們提供康復訓練。彩虹工程服務隊除了有隨隊的職業治療師，在福利院為這些兒童做評估和給工作人員進行培訓外，我們主要是外出作家訪，鼓勵或輔導這些腦癱兒童的父母。在那裏，我們認識了女孩春宇和她的家庭。
春宇今年八歲，她在半歲的時候發了一次高燒，之後便引起了嚴重的癲癇症狀，幾乎每天都會發作，有時甚至會一天數次，這樣影響到腦部發展，造成智力障礙。故此，春宇的眼神呆滯，很少有甚麼表情和反應，她會哭、但不會說話，而且手腳都不會動。由於經常性的癲癇症狀發作，加上家裡的經濟情況，延誤了開始康復的最好時機；透過彩虹工程的援助，父母終於可以帶春宇到省會看比較好的專科醫生，癲癇症狀得以控制下來，並可以開始在福利院接受康復訓練。
探訪春宇家那天，福利院陸院長開車把我們送過去。服務隊在左市的那幾天，一直都是太陽高掛，氣溫達到九十五度(華氏)的日子，不過我們到達的時候，忽然下著大雷雨，我們都笑著說，我們去探春宇(雨)，便遇上了大雨。車子停在他們家外不遠處，但是我們都沒有帶傘，雨水把路半淹了，沒法跑過去。春宇媽媽知道後，立刻拿雨傘來，又在路旁找來幾塊磚頭，放在路中央，讓我們踏著走過去。走進他們家裏的時候，我們都感受到這個家庭的經濟是如此的困難。
春宇有一個唸初中的姊姊，和一個在上幼稚園的妹妹，為了給春宇治病，她們一家從偏遠農村老家搬到崇左來，以每個月兩百塊人民幣租金，一家五口擠在一座在城中還沒有拆的老舊房子裡。房子只有兩百來平方呎，廚房和洗澡間都是非常簡陋，在房子的中間，我們都看到在屋頂下，張開了一口大尼龍布，用來擋著漏下來的雨水。我們服務隊人多，勉強在那裏擠下來，和他們聊著，幸好那時下著雨，我們都不覺得悶熱難受。其實房子實在是太舊了，冬天特別冷，夏天特別熱，他們只好在睡的地方上不足三尺之處掛著一個小吊電風扇，吹著好涼快一點，看著也覺得危險。
春宇爸爸在左市是當地盤工人的，收入極不穩定，下雨天都沒有工作，沒有工錢；而春宇媽媽則要長時間留在家中照顧春宇，所以不能夠外出打工幫補家計。春宇爸爸自己的父親在他年紀小的時候去世，母親把他托養在親戚家中，關係不太好，因此變得沈默寡言。由於他自己所生的三個都是女孩，而農村家庭大都是重男輕女，再加上春宇是個不健全的孩子，他媽媽那邊的親友都有點兒厭棄他們，未能給予一點幫助，亦曾經慫恿他們夫婦把春宇遺棄掉，但夫婦倆實在是捨不得，都是要挺下去養育孩子。在言談之間，實在感受到他內心隱隱透露著心中的愧疚，總覺得是自己大意構成失誤，引致春宇現在的情況，儘管怎樣努力，以致心力交瘁都無法把春宇的病治好。他的眼神總是在告訴你他的無奈、沈痛和絕望，還有憂心著春宇一段往後漫長復康的日子。
服務隊在離開左市前，和福利院一起舉辦了一次旅行，讓眾爸爸媽媽們可以暫時放下生活的重擔和憂慮，和孩子們一起享受郊遊的樂趣。那時，一班腦癱孩子和父母親們，在樹蔭下一起野餐、唱歌、拔河，歡笑聲充斥在悠悠和風中；就在那一刻，我看到了春宇爸爸笑了，是的，他笑了。那天的郊遊，從舒適的角度來說，並不好受，你可以想像在九十多度氣溫，潮濕悶熱的天氣底下活動，汗從沒有停止流下來，還要應付那些惱人的蚊子。不過看到一位肩膀上有千斤重擔的父親，能夠開懷一笑，就像在黑暗中的一霎明光，無助中的一絲盼望。
不經不覺之間，我已經參加了六次彩虹工程服務旅程。這六年裏，我看到我的女兒從唸高中，現在已經大學畢業了，小兒子也從初中階段到現在進了大學。這六年裏，我看到彩虹工程支持的自閉症中心從無到有，我看到一位基督徒姊妹為一班自閉症孩子，排除萬難，建立天使之家自閉症中心；我看到一位母親本來想拉著自己殘障女兒跳輕軌，在生死之間被挽回；我看到一對有自閉症兒子的夫妻，在婚姻頻臨破裂的邊緣被重新建立，那位母親還信了主，在剛過去的復活節受了洗禮；我看到一位又一位的盲生，得著自信，從接受援助，到願意將自己所學的用來幫助那些更有需要的人；我看到上帝的愛和奇蹟，豐豐富富的臨到那些困苦的人，把生命的盼望放到他們當中。
從絕望到盼望，那像是一個不能跨越的距離；彩虹工程服務隊所作的是，成為那座橋樑，以至在困苦中的人，能夠從絕望的黑暗中，走到盼望光明那邊去。
